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| London Skyline en.wikipedia.org |
Greetings from a very warm and sunny Southern California. It's only May 12 but it already feels like the middle of summer. Speaking of Southern California, the Southland is not immune to buildings I refer to as architectural WTFs, apparently the City of London, England has come down with a case of architectural WTFs. In a story for The Guardian titled "Horror storeys: the 10 worst London skyscrapers," Oliver Wainwright lists his top ten worst high-rise buildings that are dotting the sky above the English capital. It's a rather cranky look some of worst, in Mr. Wainwright's not so unbiased opinion, offenders of architectural design. Quite honestly, he just may have a point to all of his ranting and raving.
Currently, there are about 230 plans for high-rises awaiting approval from The Planning Decisions Unit of the Greater London Authority that, in Mr. Wainwright's view, would seem more at home in Dubai or Shenzhen. His overall impression is that of "...an unplanned free-for-all, steroidal frenzy of building tall with little attention to individual design quality or the cumulative effect that these scattered hulks might have on the city." The GLA Planners beg to differ, "It is simply not true to say these towers haven't been planned," said director Colin Wilson. According to Mr. Wilson, "They have been very carefully planned. But we prefer to use a flexible framework, rather than a rigid masterplan. The liberty is what makes London successful. Said masterplan is The London Plan, the mayor's handbook for development which supports tall buildings where they "create attractive landmarks enhancing London's character." The masterplan calls for buildings of high quality design and easy on the eyes; even inspiration, exciting, and delightful. So how these ten offenders stack up? You be the judge.
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| Merchant Square Robin Partington Paddington Basin, London hoarelea.com |
This residential and commercial development is already home to a mix of waterfront projects, all demanding your attention with their hip exteriors. The Basin will soon be joined by this phallic-looking building, Westminster's first skyscraper, designed by Robin Partington, the architect of Strata and Park House. The GLA planners gave this ode to masculinity the green light on the basis of its attractiveness and high-quality finish that would have a positive impact. Clad in a "midnight-blue rainscreen,"this kissing cousin of the Gherkin by Norman Foster (Mr. Partington also participated in the design) is intended to represent the "height of luxury living. This chubby building seems to be spilling out of its white porcelain corset, overshooting the penthouse skybar to create a strange looking aerial tiara.
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| Canaletto UN Studio dezeen.com |
9. Canaletto
"Designed by genius" the billboards on City Road proudly proclaim. "An architectural masterwork." Okay. This residential high-rise, designed by Professor Ben van Berkel of the Dutch firm UN Studio promises to be one of the most expensive penthouses in London and definitely one of the most hyped. The GLA planners approved this new development because they believed, "The materials used provide a homely feel to the building reflecting its residential use as well as responding positively to the surrounding conservation areas." Homely, as in home-like? Nah. According to Oliver Wainwright, the building resembles "...a stack of hard drives or the back of a computer server-an accidental nod to the nearby Silicon Roundabout..." That would seem more likely. Homely it isn't. What it is more like high-tech company office in downtown San Jose, California, rather than a homely, home-like residential tower.
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| Helix Canary Wharf Make and Darling Associates designhive.co.uk |
This is supposed to be a residential tower, really. Instead it appears to resemble twin air ducts rising out of a McDonald's joined by a knot of wiring. Why was this monstrosity approved by the GLA planners? They thought "The images and elevation detail indicate a design that is unique and high quality." Right. Mr. Wainwright calls it "...a bizarre addition to Canary Wharf-a place increasingly choked by plans for silly silhouettes, each trying to stand out among the forest of corporate slabs." The towers are to be connected by metallic band that house a series of "sky garden" for certain privileged apartments. Described by the developer, the real estate division of McDonald's as "an intricate landmark project." Not McLoving it.
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| Imperial West White, City PLP theguardian.com |
Oh look, it's a giant wedge. The architects must of spent a good deal of time trying to come with a unique geometric profile for this residential tower and they came up with is a giant slice of cheese standing tall over west-London to go along with Richard Rogers' Cheesegrater. The GLA gave this slab of terracotta Dalek the thumbs up because, "[it will] provide a striking skyline feature and distinctive focal point that could contribute to local legibility." Uh Yah. This distinctive focal point is intended to be a "gateway" London for those driving along the Westway and a "landmark for the Imperial College's new campus. Will it be used by the college for scientific research? No, it's a slab of luxury apartments.
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| Vauxhall Tower Vauxhall, Broadway Malyan skyscrapernews.cm |
Stubby thing isn't it. This high-rise residential tower looks like a lone tree stump adrift on the Thames. There's general agreement that "Stumpy the High-Rise" is in the wrong place, popping up in the middle of the view from Westminster Bridge, and was refused permission. The GLA declared it "...likely to result in an improvement in visual terms...it would be a welcome addition to the riverside and skyline." The stump is former deputy prime minster John Prescott's idea of leaving a mark on the skyline and blessed it in 2005, despite admonitions from his advisers fearing it "could set a precedent for the indiscriminate scattering of very tall buildings across London." You think? Stumpy opened the floodgates for Lord Mayor Boris Johnson's nightmare of "Dubai on the Thames."
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| Stratford Halo Stratford, England, Stock Woolstencroft ardmoregroup.co.uk |
This residential high-rise, built in time for the 2012 Summer Olympics in London was supposed to be the "gateway to the Games," cashing in on the gold-rush. Instead, the architects and developers created a three-dimensional bar chart, the result of building on a small site and having no choice but to go up. This gigantic bar chart marches down the street, each segment trying to be more iconic then the previous one, resulting in a "shouty gauntlet of cheap coloured cladding panels and bolt-on balconies." The GLA planners declared that, "It has the potential to contribute towards the consolidation of a cluster of tall buildings at Stratford and the enhancement of its skyline." This skyline enhancement is forty-three stories of purple pinstripes, topped off with a neat "halo" which puts on cheesy light show at night.
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| Strata Elephant and Castle, BFLS theguardian.com |
A Dark Tower looms large over Mordor. Alright, that was my one "Lord of The Rings" references. The Dark Tower is Strata standing tall over south London and the Eyes of Sauron are the wind turbines at the top of this residential high-rise built in 2010. Alternatively compared to a knuckleduster punching the sky and an electric razor ready to give the clouds a quick trim, the Strata has, without a doubt, put Elephant and Castle on the map. Of course it did, in fact the GLA declared, "The proposal is welcome, as it will initiate the regeneration of Elephant and Castle...the scheme should provide a positive addition to the London skyline." It was such a positive addition to the London skyline that it took the Carbuncle Cup for worst building of the year, "for services to greenwash [those three wind turbines have never moved], urban impropriety and sheer breakfast-extracting ugliness."
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| Walkie-Talkie London, Rafael Viñoly ctbuh.org |
It's a high-rise from 'Toontown. The Walkie-Talkie dubbed "the building with more up top," is a pint glass of a skyscraper that bulges out as it rises to accommodate more office space on the upper levels. Oliver Wainwright points to this cartoonish looking edifice as an example of developers' greed and "...painful proof that form follows not function but finance." Apparently the GLA thought "The quality of the design would make a significant contribution to London's architecture and reinforce the distinctiveness that other tall schemes have contributed the City skyline." It's definitely distinctive. The Walkie-Talkie stands apart from the planned City cluster like a naughty little boy sent out by his teacher. Having not learned his lesson in time out, this trouble maker of a building disrupts his classmates vista from every possible angle, blocking out their light. In a reference to Frank Gehry and his predilection for steel construction, this school yard bully of a high-rise is clad in steel, which can heat up to high enough temperatures to melt the cars parked below.
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| The Odalisk Croydon, London, CZWG theguardian.com |
"The days of drab grey buildings are at an end," a triumphant Piers Gough declared when he unveiled his scheme for the Odalisk, described by Mr. Wainwright as "a self-consciously whacky totem pole for Croydon..." No kidding Piers. This residential and hotel development is designed to hold an Intercontinental Hotel and luxury apartments within this, um I'm not quite sure how I would describe the shell. In granting their approval, the GLA described this, uh, structure as, "The projecting and recessing features are strong elements that add depth and character." Riiiight. This giant "J" resembles something that's been bitten into by a rather hungry beast and put back together as some sort of "Frankenbuilding." The bronze colored band, intended (one assumes) to be some sort of visual element. swirls its way around the this blue abomination deeply scarring it in strange places before terminating in a graceless canopy.
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| The Quill Southwark, London, SPARRC london-se1.co.uk |
The Quill, named by Mr. Wainwright as the number one architectural aberration in the city that gave us Sir Christopher Wren's magnificent St. Paul's Cathedral and the Neo-Gothic House of Parliament. The Quill, a dormitory for King's College students, resembles something that got into a fight with a porcupine and lost. If I were a King's College student, I'd look for housing elsewhere. You sort of get the idea that the architects at SPARRC used said porcupine to demonstrate their concept for the developers. Thanks to some act of madness, this clumsy-looking hulk was granted permission by the Southwark council's planning committee, who described it as "dynamic" and "dramatic," no doubted seduced by the architect's claims of referencing the district's literary heritage. The GLA called it "A building with a unique composition, with a striking roof form and an architectural appearance of the highest order, consistent with the aspiration of the London Plan." You see, the spines are supposed to be writers' feathered quill pens like the one used by William Shakespeare, get it. I didn't think so.
The point to all this architectural hand wringing is architects, developers, and planning commissions need to have a better understanding of context before allowing themselves to be romanced by visions of bolder schemes. Site context and functionality are crucial to the design process. In the case of these offenders, clearly visions of pound signs and grand schemes were dancing in their heads.
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